1
00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:08,703
Wow, we really pulled
this place together.
2
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,357
Do you think Kenny
and Liz will like it?
3
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:13,404
I hope so. And I hope Liz Grams
the hell out of this wedding
4
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,232
for her 300,000 followers.
5
00:00:15,275 --> 00:00:16,885
Oh, I know I've made fun
of her social media,
6
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:19,497
but now that it could help us
launch our bed-and-breakfast,
7
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:22,152
we are the ones
who are
8
00:00:22,195 --> 00:00:23,370
Oh, this is lovely!
9
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,633
I hope these nuptials
go better than mine.
10
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,287
Elias arrived late, drunk,
11
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,506
and smelling
of the maid's perfume.
12
00:00:28,549 --> 00:00:30,334
Hetty, why would
you marry that guy?
13
00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:31,900
My father needed to close
a land deal,
14
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,598
and I was deemed
his most comely daughter.
15
00:00:33,641 --> 00:00:36,253
Damn Margaret and her mustache.
She dodged a bullet.
16
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:38,516
Hey, you got a minute?
17
00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:40,213
Something I need you to see.
18
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,606
Those are always
expensive words to hear.
19
00:00:41,649 --> 00:00:43,347
Oh, Mark, is it bad news?
20
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:44,826
This could actually be
good news.
21
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,177
Well, I'll bring a check
for five grand just in case.
22
00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:48,874
No need.
I have your card on file now.
23
00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:50,267
Great.
24
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:52,182
So, I was doing some rewiring,
25
00:00:52,225 --> 00:00:54,532
and when I turned this sconce,
I heard a click from that wall.
26
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:55,663
Check this out.
27
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,540
And that's when I discovered
something behind this paneling.
28
00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:03,889
Is it a secret passageway?
29
00:01:03,932 --> 00:01:05,586
Don't toy
with my emotions, Mark.
30
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,198
It's never a secret passageway.
31
00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:09,938
But in this case, it is.
32
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:12,724
How about
- that mislead, babe?
- Mark's having fun.
33
00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:14,421
Oh! Oh!
34
00:01:16,249 --> 00:01:18,512
Did you know
- about this, Hetty?
- I did not!
35
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,427
What is down the passageway?
36
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:21,950
Oh, it's good.
37
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:26,999
I don't understand.
38
00:01:27,042 --> 00:01:29,567
So, we just have a bank vault
under our house?
39
00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:31,743
Well, you said a robber baron
lived here, right?
40
00:01:31,786 --> 00:01:34,746
What? Babe, we
might be rich.
41
00:01:34,789 --> 00:01:36,922
Unless, of course,
this is a Geraldo situation.
42
00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:38,924
What is Geraldo?
43
00:01:38,967 --> 00:01:40,752
He was this news anchor
44
00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:42,014
who did
this live TV special
45
00:01:42,057 --> 00:01:43,885
where he opened up
Al Capone's vault.
46
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,236
And inside? Bubkes.
47
00:01:46,279 --> 00:01:48,281
Don't get me started
on Al Capone.
48
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:50,936
- That man was clingy.
- Can you open it?
49
00:01:50,979 --> 00:01:52,546
Think so.
50
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:53,939
Course, it'll take a while.
51
00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:55,593
- Won't be cheap.
- Mark.
52
00:01:55,636 --> 00:01:57,072
Say the word. Card's on file.
53
00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,814
My crooked husband
must have built this
54
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,294
to embezzle my riches.
55
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,427
Hetty thinks there
might be riches inside.
56
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:05,690
If this thing is filled
with gold coins,
57
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:07,692
I am definitely gonna
Scrooge McDuck in 'em.
58
00:02:07,735 --> 00:02:09,955
Can one of you walk through the
door and see what's in there?
59
00:02:09,998 --> 00:02:12,653
I'll do it. A Pinecone Trooper's
- always up for an adventure.
- Mm.
60
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,830
Oh!
- Peter!
61
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,529
I've never seen
that happen before.
62
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:19,834
Pete bounced
off the vault door.
63
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:23,360
A surface that's
impenetrable to ghosts?
64
00:02:23,403 --> 00:02:25,797
I love it when the
mythology gets expanded.
65
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,061
Puny Pete must not
be strong enough.
66
00:02:29,104 --> 00:02:31,455
Stand back.
67
00:02:34,675 --> 00:02:38,462
Well, this is mysterious.
68
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,296
Hetty, do you have any idea
69
00:02:46,339 --> 00:02:47,775
what combination
Elias could have used?
70
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,647
Oh, that's a good idea.
71
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:52,824
Try 0603.
72
00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:55,305
- It was our anniversary.
- JAY:0603.
73
00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:57,829
[inhales, grunts] Oh, nope.
Okay.
74
00:02:57,872 --> 00:02:59,744
Fine. Uh, try 1101.
75
00:02:59,787 --> 00:03:00,962
1101?
76
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,964
The maid's birthday.
77
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,663
01.
78
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:07,795
- Yes!
- Oh!
79
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,797
Ah, that is heavy!
80
00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:14,367
Okay.
81
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:16,761
Damn it!
82
00:03:16,804 --> 00:03:18,371
There's nothing in here.
83
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,330
Aw. No riches.
84
00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:21,679
See, now picture this
85
00:03:21,722 --> 00:03:23,637
but with Geraldo having to vamp
for two hours.
86
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,033
Sweet Lord, I'm finally free.
87
00:03:28,076 --> 00:03:30,862
Who are all you people? Hetty!
88
00:03:30,905 --> 00:03:33,821
Elias. How are you
not rotting in hell?
89
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,823
Good to see you, too.
90
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,348
The ghost of a robber baron
just popped out of our safe.
91
00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:39,914
Hey, where's
all your gold, man?
92
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,047
Hi! I'm Pete. Nice to meet you.
93
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:43,178
Welcome.
94
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,616
Back, I guess. Welcome back.
95
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:46,617
Oh, my God.
96
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,359
- Is that...?!
- My corpse?
97
00:03:49,402 --> 00:03:51,143
It is. The only thing
that kept me company
98
00:03:51,186 --> 00:03:54,015
when I was locked in there
for the last 130 years.
99
00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:55,539
Not much of a talker, though.
100
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:59,543
That must be Kenny
and Liz. I'll get it.
101
00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:00,892
Okay. I'll just stay in here
102
00:04:00,935 --> 00:04:02,676
with the corpse
and all the ghosts.
103
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,374
I was kidding.
Sam, please slow down!
104
00:04:04,417 --> 00:04:05,679
Sam!
105
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,421
So, this is where you've been
all this time?
106
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,684
Yes. What did you think
107
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,033
when I just disappeared?
108
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:13,557
Didn't you search for me?
109
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,123
You didn't tell anyone
about the vault.
110
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,474
I assumed that you ran off
with one of your many floozies.
111
00:04:17,517 --> 00:04:19,780
No. The vault maker
locked me in here.
112
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:22,087
- He left me to suffocate.
- Oh.
113
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,436
His wife and I had grown close.
114
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,569
- Oh, God.
- And when he finished the vault,
115
00:04:25,612 --> 00:04:26,831
there was a debate
over payment
116
00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,136
and the paternity
of his son, but...
Oh.
117
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,835
Wait, all of you are ghosts?
118
00:04:30,878 --> 00:04:33,403
Yeah, bro. We've all died
on the property over the years.
119
00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:34,882
Most people go up,
120
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,797
but we just stick around
- for some reason.
Hi.
121
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,799
I am Thorfinn.
122
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,497
I like herring and...
123
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:44,065
Wonderful. Now,
how do-eth you, madam?
124
00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:45,676
Really?
125
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,679
Mm-mm. Not happening.
126
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:53,118
Hi! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
Hi!
127
00:04:53,161 --> 00:04:57,122
Oh, I am so excited to be here.
128
00:04:57,165 --> 00:05:00,560
I can't believe
we're getting married tomorrow.
129
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,956
Kenny, did you get that?
130
00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:06,566
Oh! Sorry, the
phone wasn't ready.
131
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,481
Uh... Okay,
this is gonna be a big weekend
132
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,222
for us, so I'm gonna need
you to have your phone
133
00:05:10,265 --> 00:05:11,789
- in your hand at all times, okay?
- Yeah.
134
00:05:11,832 --> 00:05:13,443
These two seem like a lot.
135
00:05:13,486 --> 00:05:14,792
Oh, so,
who's this little guy?
136
00:05:14,835 --> 00:05:16,097
Oh, this is Rooney,
137
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,056
our rescue that we rescued.
138
00:05:18,099 --> 00:05:19,753
Oh, my God, Rooney.
I follow him.
139
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,974
Uh, Rooney's got, like,
30,000 followers.
140
00:05:23,017 --> 00:05:24,105
What's a follower?
141
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,977
Well, in the cult,
it referred to anyone
142
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:28,153
who'd gotten the tattoo
and slept with Bruce.
143
00:05:28,196 --> 00:05:30,285
Are you guys gonna post
any pictures while you're here?
144
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:33,550
Feel free to tag us.
145
00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:35,726
I absolutely will,
146
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,162
just after the wedding.
147
00:05:37,205 --> 00:05:39,904
Actually on a short
social media vacay right now.
148
00:05:39,947 --> 00:05:40,905
It's part
149
00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:41,949
of a brand strategy
150
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,211
to make sure that Liz
151
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,865
seems more present for
life's big moments.
152
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,084
Exactly.
153
00:05:46,127 --> 00:05:48,565
Because life
is about what happens
154
00:05:48,608 --> 00:05:50,741
when the cameras aren't rolling.
155
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:54,135
- Kenny, did you get that?
- Oh, sorry.
156
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:57,095
Damn it.
- Okay, we'll roll it back.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
157
00:05:58,139 --> 00:05:59,967
I still can't believe
158
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,099
I didn't ascend
into heaven.
159
00:06:01,142 --> 00:06:03,797
I paid the church.
There was a contract!
160
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,800
Did you pay for me, too,
or was it just a solo trip?
161
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,106
I was a little pinched
at the time.
162
00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:09,760
The mill workers had unionized,
163
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,152
which I put down violently,
164
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,024
but somebody had to pay
for that mob.
165
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:14,329
That is not a great story.
166
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:16,636
So, you're an actual robber baron.
167
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,595
I mean, you're, like,
really rich, right?
168
00:06:18,638 --> 00:06:22,163
I ate meat several times a week.
169
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,601
Well, it's not a Lamborghini,
but that's very cool.
170
00:06:24,644 --> 00:06:27,081
So, did anyone else from our day
stick around as a ghost?
171
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,387
He's gonna ask
about the maid.
172
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:31,303
Like, oh, I don't know,
say, the maid?
173
00:06:31,346 --> 00:06:33,000
Just to name someone
randomly.
174
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,393
No, she's no longer here,
175
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:35,916
you syphilitic reprobate.
176
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,919
First off,
everybody fun had syphilis.
177
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,878
And I don't appreciate
that tone.
178
00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:42,314
Well, then maybe you should go back
179
00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:44,272
down to your vault and talk
to your withered corpse.
180
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,360
There it is again.
181
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:47,319
What happened
to my obedient wife?
182
00:06:47,362 --> 00:06:50,409
Well, modern women don't
just defer to their husbands,
183
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,629
Elias, and I have learned from
the living lady of the house
184
00:06:52,672 --> 00:06:54,282
that when she doesn't like
something, she says so.
185
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:57,242
Like when Jay spent
$500 on action doll.
186
00:06:57,285 --> 00:06:58,896
Big mistake.
187
00:06:58,939 --> 00:07:01,942
That living lady
is a dangerous influence on you
188
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,944
with her newfangled notions.
189
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,643
She and Jay have simply opened my eyes.
190
00:07:06,686 --> 00:07:07,861
They have a
respectful marriage,
191
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,646
and you were a terrible
husband, Elias.
192
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,038
And my least
favorite cousin.
193
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,999
I don't have to stand here and
listen to another word of this!
194
00:07:15,042 --> 00:07:18,306
Look, it's not important,
but how hot was this maid?
195
00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:27,185
What kind of servant
doesn't move out of the way?
196
00:07:32,059 --> 00:07:35,019
You want to go into that room
and have sex right now?
197
00:07:35,062 --> 00:07:36,324
I... What?
198
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:39,458
I want you like I've
- never wanted anyone.
- Uh,
199
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:43,244
sorry, I'm married. But that was
a much-needed confidence boost.
200
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:45,986
What are you talking about?
201
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,206
About you hitting on me
just now?
202
00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:49,990
You wish.
203
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,908
Wow.
204
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:57,084
And this is where
it all happens.
205
00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:00,044
Wow. The wedding planner
was raving
206
00:08:00,087 --> 00:08:02,046
about the heritage menu
you're doing.
207
00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:04,265
Now, I've never had squab.
208
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,180
What's that like?
209
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:09,053
I'd say it's like pigeon.
It's a lot like pigeon.
210
00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:10,968
Well, I'm really looking forward
to seeing
211
00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:12,839
what you come up with.
212
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:15,407
Oh! Blast it, that hurt.
213
00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:17,322
Uh...
214
00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:19,063
are you okay?
215
00:08:19,106 --> 00:08:20,847
Yeah.
216
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:24,372
I feel real good.
217
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:25,809
Oh, great.
218
00:08:25,852 --> 00:08:27,506
Well,
I-I'll just show you the sauces.
219
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:30,248
All I can think about
is grabbing your butt.
220
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,864
What? What is it?
- What's going on, Jay?
- Okay.
221
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,126
I don't know how
to tell you this.
222
00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:41,999
Liz hit on me.
223
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:44,305
What?
- The bride?
- Oh, okay.
224
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,959
Wait, what does that mean?
225
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,614
- You don't believe me?
- No, it's just, are you sure
226
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,573
this isn't, like,
an Olive Garden situation?
227
00:08:50,616 --> 00:08:52,575
Okay, that waitress
definitely hit on me.
228
00:08:52,618 --> 00:08:54,620
What is the Olive Garden?
It's a restaurant
229
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,274
known for
its endless breadstick baskets.
230
00:08:56,317 --> 00:08:59,059
- Alberta and Sass are here.
- Oh, hey.
231
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:01,932
Endless? How is
that even possible?
232
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,542
Jay and I ate there
a couple months ago,
233
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,631
and our waitress was refilling
our bread basket...
234
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,590
Yeah, and then I said,
"No, thank you, or I'll eat
235
00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:11,289
'olive' them." Olive.
Olive Garden.
236
00:09:11,332 --> 00:09:12,943
Tonya laughed
for six straight minutes.
237
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,292
Yeah, she works for tips, Jay.
238
00:09:14,335 --> 00:09:16,294
Hey, this is a victory for you.
239
00:09:16,337 --> 00:09:19,297
You have me.
You're living Tonya's dream.
240
00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:21,168
Okay, so,
what exactly did Liz say?
241
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:24,389
She said all she could think
about was grabbing my butt.
242
00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:26,217
Mm. That little thing?
243
00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:28,959
Wait, seriously?
She did hit on you.
244
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,308
Do we
245
00:09:30,351 --> 00:09:31,701
tell Kenny?
Because if we tell Kenny,
246
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:34,094
then this wedding
probably gets called off, right?
247
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,313
Liz was gonna post about it.
248
00:09:35,356 --> 00:09:36,662
This was gonna put us
on the map.
249
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,359
But we got to tell him, right?
250
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,709
Yes.
251
00:09:39,752 --> 00:09:43,016
Ugh, why do you have to be
so damn irresistible?
252
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,366
Sorry. It's a curse.
253
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,717
Hey, guys.
254
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,328
What's wrong, Samantha?
255
00:09:50,371 --> 00:09:52,330
It has been a day.
256
00:09:52,373 --> 00:09:54,462
Tell me about it.
257
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,508
I cannot believe
Elias is back.
258
00:09:56,551 --> 00:09:59,554
Till death do us part.
It's right in the vows.
259
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,340
So, why'd you have
a bad day, Samantha?
260
00:10:02,383 --> 00:10:04,081
Well, the bride hit on Jay,
261
00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,170
and now Kenny's probably gonna
call the whole thing off.
262
00:10:06,213 --> 00:10:07,475
- What?
- Wait, seriously?
263
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,216
Now she's not gonna post
pictures of the mansion,
264
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,001
and we're not even gonna
get paid for the wedding.
265
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,307
We're, like, this close to
defaulting on our loan.
266
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:14,439
Samantha,
267
00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:15,570
what are you saying?
268
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:17,660
Okay, I hadn't
told you guys,
269
00:10:17,703 --> 00:10:19,618
but if we don't start
making money soon,
270
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,359
we could lose the house.
271
00:10:21,402 --> 00:10:24,579
No, you cannot leave us!
272
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,451
Just when I finally learned
to look beyond the hideous pants
273
00:10:26,494 --> 00:10:29,106
and see the wonderful person
inside the hideous pants.
274
00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:31,238
You think I want to leave?
I don't know what to do.
275
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,023
I have it. Solution.
276
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,199
You and small man
kill yourselves.
277
00:10:35,242 --> 00:10:37,549
Become ghosts.
And then we are friends forever.
278
00:10:37,592 --> 00:10:39,377
But they might not
actually become ghosts.
279
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,162
Right, that's the
problem with that plan.
280
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,382
Hello, all. Get
your spatterdashes
281
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:46,514
off my table. I
had it upholstered
282
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,255
with the hide
of a white rhinoceros
283
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,779
I shot in Kenya.
284
00:10:49,822 --> 00:10:51,737
Oh, my God.
Those are extinct now.
285
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,783
Really? We got 'em all?
Bully for us.
286
00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:55,262
Man, he is evil.
287
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,047
And I used to pillage
for a living.
288
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,571
Oh! That thing ran
289
00:10:59,614 --> 00:11:02,792
through my leg. Skin that beast
and turn it into a table.
290
00:11:02,835 --> 00:11:04,750
Must everything
be a table?
291
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,752
Well, he's
292
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:09,059
really interested
in that teddy bear.
293
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,278
Ah! Look at the little guy go.
294
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:14,064
Good boy. Yes, use your hips.
295
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,457
One walk through you and the dog
becomes a sex pervert.
296
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:17,850
Can't say I'm surprised.
297
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:21,419
Wait, Elias, did you walk
through any Livings today?
298
00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:23,377
Like the bride, to be specific?
299
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:26,424
Yes, in fact, I did accidentally
happen through her. Why?
300
00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:28,600
That's it. That's
why Liz hit on Jay.
301
00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:31,255
Your ghost power is
that when people--
302
00:11:31,298 --> 00:11:32,386
or animals, apparently--
303
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,388
walk through you,
they get horny.
304
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:35,694
Really?
305
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,217
Okay, I know he's
controversial,
306
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,219
- but that's pretty cool.
- Yeah.
307
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,612
It wasn't Liz's fault at all.
308
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:42,266
She didn't mean to hit on Jay.
309
00:11:42,309 --> 00:11:44,268
I've got to stop
Jay telling Kenny.
310
00:11:44,311 --> 00:11:46,096
Well,
311
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,532
I hope you're happy.
312
00:11:47,575 --> 00:11:49,534
You nearly ruined
this wedding.
313
00:11:49,577 --> 00:11:51,275
Those two
are hemorrhaging cash.
314
00:11:51,318 --> 00:11:52,667
They need this
to be a success.
315
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,539
You're saying those Livings
need this wedding
316
00:11:54,582 --> 00:11:56,236
to go off without a hitch,
317
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,368
otherwise they'll
be leaving?
318
00:11:57,411 --> 00:11:58,848
Yes, that's exactly
what I'm saying.
319
00:11:58,891 --> 00:12:00,675
Hmm.
320
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:02,199
Why is he
literally twirling
321
00:12:02,242 --> 00:12:03,330
his mustache?
322
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,158
It can't be good.
323
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:08,640
Kenny, hey.
324
00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:11,121
I've been looking all over
- for you.
- What's up, buddy?
325
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,862
I don't know how to say this.
Um...
326
00:12:12,905 --> 00:12:16,300
Okay, y-you know how I'm always
getting hit on by random women?
327
00:12:16,343 --> 00:12:18,389
Is this about
the Cheesecake Factory waitress?
328
00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:20,870
There's an entire factory
dedicated to cheesecake?
329
00:12:20,913 --> 00:12:23,568
It's as amazing as it sounds.
Wow.
330
00:12:23,611 --> 00:12:25,875
- No, it's not about her.
- You know, she probably writes
331
00:12:25,918 --> 00:12:27,485
"thank you"
with the little heart-shaped Os
332
00:12:27,528 --> 00:12:29,443
on every receipt.
She works for tips.
333
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:32,446
Uh, Jay, can I just,
uh, grab you for a sec?
334
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,492
Actually, Kenny and I
were just about to have
335
00:12:34,535 --> 00:12:37,321
- a difficult conversation.
- We were?
336
00:12:37,364 --> 00:12:39,845
Well, no difficult conversations
are needed,
337
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,673
because everything
is actually okay.
338
00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:42,674
Oh, hey,
339
00:12:42,717 --> 00:12:43,849
it's the Monopoly guy.
340
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,503
What are you
talking about, Sam?
341
00:12:45,546 --> 00:12:46,721
I'm talking
about the fact that...
342
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,723
Criminy.
343
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:50,900
Oh,
344
00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:52,771
what are you doing, man?
345
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:53,816
Just spreading
a little love.
346
00:12:53,859 --> 00:12:55,687
Aw, that's sweet.
347
00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:58,255
You two are looking good.
348
00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,692
Very good.
349
00:13:00,735 --> 00:13:03,521
Jay? What's going on?
350
00:13:03,564 --> 00:13:04,957
I haven't seen Sam
this worked up
351
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,351
since she saw
that movie The Holiday on TV.
352
00:13:07,394 --> 00:13:10,484
Sam?
Damnation!
353
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,312
You can't just walk
through people.
354
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:13,531
It's the greatest
pain there is.
355
00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:14,706
Well, actually...
356
00:13:14,749 --> 00:13:15,707
- Yes, yes, we know.
- Okay.
357
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,752
Well, hello, you two.
358
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,930
Did you leave the oven on?
Or is it just getting...
359
00:13:20,973 --> 00:13:22,714
hot in here?
360
00:13:22,757 --> 00:13:25,195
Well, enjoy the show.
361
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,674
Hey, Kenny,
362
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,676
didn't you say you didn't have
a bachelor party?
363
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,245
Well, how about we have
a little party right here?
364
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,943
- What?
- I could be Cameron Diaz,
365
00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:37,511
and you two could be
a couple of Jude Laws.
366
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:38,773
Okay, that was not in the movie.
367
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,210
What is that?
368
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:41,733
Did you just meow at me?
369
00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:44,562
What are you doing?
What's going on?
370
00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:45,737
I don't think I'm tall enough
to be Jude Law.
371
00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:47,434
Liz. Liz. Liz!
372
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:49,654
Oh.
373
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,700
What happened?
I feel like I just blacked out.
374
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,572
Me, too. I-I have
the strangest urge
375
00:13:54,615 --> 00:13:55,878
to watch a Nancy
Meyers movie.
376
00:13:55,921 --> 00:13:57,880
Kenny? What's happening?
377
00:13:57,923 --> 00:13:59,229
These two
378
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,362
just propositioned
me for a threesome.
379
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:03,668
They what?
380
00:14:03,711 --> 00:14:04,887
We what?
381
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,540
It was Elias.
382
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,020
Oh, God.
383
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,240
Uh, there's got to be
some kind of misunderstanding.
384
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:14,244
No. No. Uh, we did
proposition Kenny, actually.
385
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,376
What?
Babe.
386
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,943
As a test
of your faithfulness.
387
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,337
And guess what. You passed.
388
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:23,601
Yep, you passed. Flying colors.
I'm sorry,
389
00:14:23,644 --> 00:14:26,604
you two tried to have sex
with my Kenny
390
00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:28,432
the day before my wedding?
391
00:14:28,475 --> 00:14:29,955
No. No, God, no.
392
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,957
Oh, my God, no,
I would not have sex with Kenny.
393
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,437
But you guys
394
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,830
should definitely have sex
with each other.
395
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,355
Okay, this is too weird.
396
00:14:38,398 --> 00:14:41,924
Uh, disgusting. We will not be
having our wedding here.
397
00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:44,709
No, no, no, don't leave.
What about the squab?
398
00:14:44,752 --> 00:14:45,753
The squab!
399
00:14:50,584 --> 00:14:53,196
You know, a bake sale's
a quick way to earn some cash.
400
00:14:53,239 --> 00:14:56,025
O-Our troop once raised $78
in one week.
401
00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:58,331
- Thanks, Pete.
- What's happening?
402
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,508
The ghosts are pitching ways
- for us to make money.
- That's sweet.
403
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,728
Any viable ideas?
I have a plan.
404
00:15:03,771 --> 00:15:05,556
But it only works
if you have a tommy gun.
405
00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:06,992
Not really.
406
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,776
Here's what you do.
You go to New York.
407
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,778
You look up this guy I know.
He's gonna double your money.
408
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,084
His name, Bernie Madoff.
409
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,564
Miracle worker.
410
00:15:13,607 --> 00:15:15,914
I robbed a bank once,
if that helps.
411
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,437
Did I ever tell you guys
412
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:19,091
about that?
413
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,571
I don't think we're gonna
get out of this mess, Sam.
414
00:15:20,614 --> 00:15:21,920
We're up to our
ears in debt.
415
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,748
This house is
our only asset.
416
00:15:23,791 --> 00:15:25,880
I think we're gonna
have to sell.
417
00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:29,014
Aw, are the poors
gonna have to leave?
418
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,755
That didn't take long.
419
00:15:30,798 --> 00:15:32,887
I'd tell you exactly how long,
420
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:35,020
but unfortunately
this thing doesn't work anymore.
421
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,457
You'd think, for $5,000,
422
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,981
it would last
into the afterlife.
423
00:15:39,024 --> 00:15:42,593
You spent $5,000
on a watch?!
424
00:15:42,636 --> 00:15:44,160
Wait a minute.
425
00:15:44,203 --> 00:15:47,076
If Elias has that valuable
timepiece on his ghostly person,
426
00:15:47,119 --> 00:15:48,991
that must mean... The real watch
427
00:15:49,034 --> 00:15:50,644
must be on his corpse.
428
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,603
What about a corpse?
429
00:15:52,646 --> 00:15:55,649
Babe, I need you
to do me a quick favor.
430
00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,958
Yeah, I don't think
I can do this.
431
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,090
It's looking right at me.
432
00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:02,482
Babe, he's not
looking at you.
433
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,571
His eyes are little,
withered husks.
434
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,791
That is not having the calming
effect that you want it to.
435
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:10,447
Okay.
436
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,926
Oh.
437
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,145
I know what pocket
he kept it in,
438
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:16,018
but I confess,
I'm enjoying this.
439
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,107
Guys?
440
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:20,457
We got it.
Yes!
441
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,547
All right! I bet that's worth a
pretty penny in today's dollars.
442
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:24,678
Definitely enough
to keep the bank
443
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:25,984
off our backs
for a few months.
444
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,986
- Take that, bank.
- Yes, I'm sure the bank
445
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,641
will be very hurt that you're
making timely payments.
446
00:16:30,684 --> 00:16:33,035
So, this means you're
- not selling the house?
No, Sass,
447
00:16:33,078 --> 00:16:34,862
we're staying.
We have a few more months
448
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:36,081
to get the business
up and running.
449
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:39,128
Well, I am
very happy about that.
450
00:16:39,171 --> 00:16:40,564
Oh, look, Elias,
451
00:16:40,607 --> 00:16:43,045
another opinion.
And nothing you can do about it.
452
00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:46,091
You think this is over?
That I'm just going to give up?
453
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,832
As long as I'm here,
454
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:49,007
they will never host a wedding
455
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,009
that I don't turn
into an all-out orgy.
456
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,924
So just normal wedding?
457
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,839
And I won't stop there.
Whatever they host,
458
00:16:54,882 --> 00:16:56,580
I'll make it horny.
459
00:16:56,623 --> 00:16:58,582
Funeral? Horny.
460
00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:00,062
High tea? Horny.
461
00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:03,848
Baptism? Ravenous thrust-fest.
462
00:17:03,891 --> 00:17:05,589
Is this starting to sound good
to anybody else?
463
00:17:05,632 --> 00:17:06,938
Why are you doing this?
464
00:17:06,981 --> 00:17:08,940
Because I want
you Livings out of here.
465
00:17:08,983 --> 00:17:10,985
You have corrupted my Hetty.
466
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:13,858
No! I haven't been corrupted.
467
00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:15,903
I have changed. A little.
468
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:19,081
For the better, I think.
Let's be honest.
469
00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:21,909
Elias, you and I
were not good people.
470
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,650
We stole. We exploited.
471
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,870
We profited
off of others' misery.
472
00:17:25,913 --> 00:17:27,176
We did have fun.
473
00:17:27,219 --> 00:17:29,003
But while you were trapped
in that vault,
474
00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,875
I have been out here.
475
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:33,095
Learning from these people.
476
00:17:33,138 --> 00:17:36,185
Learning from Alberta
to speak my mind
477
00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:37,577
and learning from Sam
478
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,710
that the Irish are people, too,
apparently.
479
00:17:39,753 --> 00:17:41,886
She says it, but I don't think
- she believes it.
Yes,
480
00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,409
I complain about being here.
481
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,933
And yes, I do want to be
sucked off more than anything.
482
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:49,285
But these people have taught me
how to be a better Hetty.
483
00:17:49,328 --> 00:17:52,984
And I say there's hope
for you, too,
484
00:17:53,027 --> 00:17:54,594
Elias.
485
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,074
You're here for eternity.
486
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,555
Why not use it to change?
487
00:17:58,598 --> 00:18:01,819
I don't need to be
a better person.
488
00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:03,690
There is no good or evil.
489
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,779
That's just a story
we tell ourselves.
490
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,085
And I know better.
491
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:10,088
So, Hetty,
get this through your tiny,
492
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,222
inferior female brain.
493
00:18:13,265 --> 00:18:16,790
I will never change.
494
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:20,272
Well, then, you can go to hell.
495
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:27,758
Whoa!
496
00:18:27,801 --> 00:18:28,933
Oh, my God!
497
00:18:28,976 --> 00:18:30,326
He just went down on us.
498
00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:31,849
I didn't know
that could happen.
499
00:18:31,892 --> 00:18:33,590
Yeah, I don't love
having to worry about that.
500
00:18:33,633 --> 00:18:35,896
Did I... Did I just...?
501
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,248
Is that my power, we think?
Banishing people to Hades?
502
00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:41,032
Or it was him just yelling
he was never gonna change
503
00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:42,816
and basically thumbing his nose
at the universe.
504
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,122
That's another possibility.
505
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,732
Well, we should try it out.
506
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:46,733
Trevor, go to hell.
507
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:48,953
Why?! Why?! Why?!
508
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:51,260
Why?! Why would you pick me?!
What is wrong with you?!
509
00:18:51,303 --> 00:18:53,305
Guess not.
510
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:56,656
- That was so scary.
- Oh, calm down.
511
00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:03,968
I mean, this is
just a big day
512
00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:05,230
in terms of ghost rules.
513
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:06,536
So, the floor opens up,
514
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,233
and this guy falls through
right in front of you?
515
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,930
That's incredible.
516
00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:12,194
Well, Jay seems awfully gleeful
about this new horror
517
00:19:12,237 --> 00:19:13,325
we all have hanging
over our heads.
518
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,979
You got to tell me
how it happened. I mean,
519
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,024
was it hot? Was there screaming?
520
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,548
Was country music playing?
521
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,071
Well, there was screaming,
522
00:19:20,114 --> 00:19:22,639
but I'm pretty sure that
was just from our ghosts.
523
00:19:22,682 --> 00:19:24,989
Thor not scream.
Thor not scared
524
00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:27,383
of some silly hole
in the ground.
525
00:19:27,426 --> 00:19:29,646
Because Thor working
towards being better person.
526
00:19:29,689 --> 00:19:31,996
Very open to change.
527
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,520
It all happened so fast. It was,
like, this red light, suddenly,
528
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:35,913
and then whoosh.
529
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,393
Mm! He went down on us.
530
00:19:37,436 --> 00:19:39,090
Alberta, I'm not sure
that's the best term...
531
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,918
What? If that's
the term that she wants to use,
532
00:19:40,961 --> 00:19:42,267
then she can do it.
533
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,138
Hello, all.
534
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:46,140
I'm feeling in a good mood,
535
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:49,666
so you may all remain
on this earthly plane tonight.
536
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,450
So funny.
537
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:54,192
Hetty just came in, joking about
trying to send Trevor to hell.
538
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,194
Aw, too soon, Hetty.
539
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:59,980
Trevor, I told you,
I knew it wasn't going to work.
540
00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:01,982
I don't actually have
that power.
541
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,288
Or do I?
542
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,116
Thorfinn, you're in my seat.
543
00:20:05,159 --> 00:20:07,249
Moving! Yes.
544
00:20:10,382 --> 00:20:12,471
Wasn't comfortable there,
anyways.
545
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:25,179
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
546
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:29,227
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org